Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Slack suck: Johnny Law Edition

Capitol Police are unhappy about a new management decision banning shorts on officers assigned to the Capitol.
Oh yeah! Time to dress like a professional, motherfuckers! All the cool people are doing it. Where are you gonna put that Emerson folder now, po-po man? Not enough room for your walkie aaaaaaaaand your baton? Ha!

Oh, wait:
But union representatives told Roll Call that Inspector Donald Roullier, who oversees the department’s Capitol Division, made the decision based on appearances – particularly the fact that officers in short pants do not look good carrying large automatic rifles.
Do officers in any pants look good carrying large automatic rifles? That's like saying a hunchback look less conspicuous and deformed wearing Oxfords vice some sneakers; it doesn't make any sense. Hopefully officers will maintain professionalism despite the length of their duds. Maybe if they're lucky, the bureaucrat-in-chief will let them wear pants that have more than a couple of tiny pockets, like maybe some TAD, Woolrich, or 5.11s. My workplace has outlawed common-sense attire in favor of britches that were designed by slaves in 1622, and we all look fabulous as hell because of it. I feel so professional sitting in my cubicle with my keys digging into my ass that I want to be as productive as I can! It amuses me now to know that somebody else has to live in my hell and experience a pointless attire change.

And what's with cops wandering around our nation's capitol with automatic rifles? What do they think this country is - Britain?

1 comment:

Broken Andy said...

You know, if they can't carry fully automatic rifles at the Capitol building, its gonna be harder for them to complete their plans to turn us into a police state.