Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Seems harmless enough

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, well then, it's a duck, right?

Ummm, no.

In this case, a mentally disturbed man posing as a federal agent kidnapped and abducted a pregnant woman, leading her on a ride to deportation. No, you read that right; he put her on a flight and sent her to the Philippines.

So, our Homeland Security is so super awesome that a fat crackpot with a porno mustache can holster a weapon, hang a shiny thing on a beaded chain around his neck, pull on his $9 CTU T-shirt from Wal-Mart, and wander around a freakin airport with a kidnapped pregnant woman in handcuffs, and send her to another country!!!!! What?!!??!

B-b-b-but, he said he had an order from ICE!!

Hey morons!!! Crazy people claim crazy things!! It's your job, your duty, to FIND OUT IF THE CRACKPOT IS TELLING THE TRUTH!!!

I can be disarmed, arrested, and imprisoned because of a baggage mixup while on my way to Iraq, and that's totally cool. But porno mustache man can just do whatever the hell he wants in an airport and you let him because he lied? So why am I disarmed when going through an airport?

"Hey, fellas. . . .relax, . . . it's me, Jack Bauer. Yeah, they issue us MP5s these days, now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get on the plane. Thanks."

Idiocracy is here to stay.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.

The guy was a "distant cousin" of the victim, whom the victim's husband had met a couple of times...but did not know whether he was or was not a federal marshal?

And the guy was convincing enough that the victim's husband bought the airline ticket to send her to the Philippines?

Either the husband is as dumb as a bag of hammers or he was in on it.

"You're going to deport my wife and you want me to pay for the ticket? Um...Let me think about this for a minute NO.

BTW: Hold on a minute while I look up Federal Marshal's Service in the Yellow Pages because I'm real interested in talking to them about their "agent" with some very unusual deportation procedures."

The more I think about it, the more weird it sounds.

I wouldn't be surprised at all of there was more to this story than meets the eye.

Not that that has any bearing on your observations about the TSA with reference to this argument with you there.

Unknown said...

You're right; I hadn't thought about how dumb the husband would have to be for this to happen.

As for the strange deportation procedures, you would think that the BP and TSA folks would have immediately picked up on that one. While putting someone on a plane sounds reasonable enough at first glance, there is a lot more to it than that. Thanks for pointing that out.

Sans Authoritas said...

A mentally disturbed man convincingly posed as a Federal enforcement officer? Well, that's not very hard.