Thursday, March 1, 2012

Knives = Assault thingies

In Massachusetts, some 14 year old boy was caught with knives and brass knuckles, which are being called "Assault Weapons" by officer Bullhonkey, or whatever his name is. There was a small throwing knife set as well, and three larger novelty type knives.

Folks who know a thing or two about knives should be quick to point out that these knives are very inexpensive and are of below average quality, and are sold in flea markets and such pretty much anywhere. Want to know the reason they're so readily available and inexpensive? Because men like the look of stabby things, and cheap knives with crappy steel that won't ever see any use can fill that role well just by hanging on the wall. Folks who know a thing or two about youthful boys should be quick to point out that boys have a strong attraction to big gnarly looking novelty knives and brass knuckles. Want to know the reason? Because they're boys! I know it's hard to believe, but boys in today's time love pointy stabby things just like boys two thousand years ago did. Weird.

Didn't some wise dude from some old book say something about there being nothing new under the sun? I think today we use a term along the same lines - "Boys will be boys."

The boy in the article may or may not have said something about using a knife against some unamed somebody (we'll never know; they took down the boy's facebook page), and based on this he's now in a heap of trouble. The question to ask now is whether officer Bullhonkey also confiscated all the knives from the kitchen and then made especially sure to remove anything from the house made of metal. The best throwing knives I've ever had were made from grinding a point onto some of my mother's butter knives (sorry mom!); and I made swords, knives, and metal knuckles from old bed frames and scrap metal around the yard. I made two solid pairs of 'chucks from door chains and hickory that I cut and formed myself; I made a miniature bow and arrow from Constructs, a rubber band, and 1/4" dowel rods from a toy Tee pee and used it to kill birds and rabbits, and I've made things far deadlier than all of this stuff combined that I won't even talk about here.

Looking at those shiny brass stars on officer Bullhonkey's shoulders, I could easily use them make any number of edged assault thingies that would definitely make the day more interesting. Maybe some fangs; they could tear out a jugular vein like nobody's business! OOooo. . . oooo. . . . I know. . . .I could make arrow tips! I bet they would work better than the arrow tips that I made from bone harvested from squirrels I slayed with a slingshot.

Try as you may, you won't stop boys from making cool weapons from any materials they can get their hands on. When you're a boy, the world is your deadly oyster, and all it takes to capitalise on this is an active, youthful mind. Why this is lost on the crazy people interviewed in the article's video is the question of the day. I guess some people lose sight of where they came from (or maybe I'm crazy for making weapons out of anything I see). These days, I'm having a blast making things that hold weapons, like this holster I made last night:




Boys will be boys. . . .

4 comments:

Drew said...

it's just a couple of cheaply made trench knives similar to the ones used by the doughboys in the first world war. what makes them so assaulting? i actually have a real one. don't think it's assaulted anyone in 100+ years either

MSgt B said...

Nice holster.

No duct tape? You're losing your touch...

Unknown said...

I aim for perfection these days.. . .actually, I'm thinking about using moleskin for this one

Broken Andy said...

You know what else is too pointy, your Assault Blog! Good post.