Thursday, September 9, 2010

Is that how it works?

Let's see if I can extrapolate how Virginia's justice system works these days.

If you are a violent psychopath that started your career of mayhem at the age of ten, then you qualify for like a year or two of time in state prison--most of it suspended--for every violent crime you commit up until the point where you are indicted for murdering five people.

If you are a violent psychopathic woman who stabs someone in the chest with a kitchen knife, then you qualify for five years in state prison, but will only serve six months so that you can do it all over again as soon as possible.

If you are a violent psychopathic man who has a lengthy criminal record for such peaceful acts as assaulting a cop, then you qualify for six months in jail with four and a half months suspended, making it possible for you to drive around at night while firing your gun in the air.

If you are a violent psychopathic scumbag with a lifelong penchant for hurting people, and you are arrested for tying a guy down to a chair with a lamp cord and beating his face in over a drug deal that didn't go your way, then you qualify to serve five years in a state penitentiary.

If you are a violent psychopathic scumbag with ten felony convictions, then you qualify to be released on parole once again from state prison so that you can rape, sodomize, and murder a depressed woman and leave her body to freeze in the woods. It's cool. We know you like that, so we'll give you a break this time too.

Now, if you're a creepy older guy with no known prior convictions, and you pull your winky out in front of your web cam to impress a 13 year old, than you qualify for 80 years in state prison.


I'm not concerned about the well being of the creepy guy, but when the hell do violent people get shown to the revolving door while the guy who is accused of what is arguably a victimless crime get fed into the grinder? What am I missing?

I don't know about you, but if I was, say, searching for a home to move my family to, and I had to chose between having a neighbor who was convicted and served time for showing his junk to an undercover cop posing as a kid, or a guy who was convicted and served time for taking hostages and shooting up a post office, and for shooting his girlfriend in the chest while he was wanted for having sex with a child, then which one do you think I would pick?

I understand that the economy thrives in part on the sale of prisoner's bonds as securities, but come on now!! You've got it all backwards!! Is this some sort of inflation backlash from the new sex crime laws? Somebody needs to go back and rethink murder and other violent charges so that they're up to par.

I've read somewhere before that 15 years is the average time served in America for murder. You have to have one seriously mangled schlong to traumatize someone to the point where you should get more time in prison than the fella who tries to hire a hitman to cut the throat of his ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend. Hey Virginia, how about some crime reform?
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