John Hinckley Jr. will be given a drivers licence!
Hell, we give them to people who aren't even citizens of this country, right? Who cares if we give one to a murderous nutbag.
But don't worry folks. He's been court ordered to carry a taxpayer funded cellphone! Maybe the judge will tell him under the strongest possible terms that he is NOT allowed to text while driving. And since it has GPS, there's no way he can ditch the phone in order to avoid being tracked!
Isn't justice fun!!
And just to be absolutely sure that any more nutcases don't shoot sitting presidents or their aids, we should go ahead and take guns away from all the sane citizens that we can. That will help.