Destructive device

Possession of a venomous creature without a permit in Maine.

The 5-foot long Gaboon viper was found dead on a rock by a woman who was walking her dog on a trail behind the Cinemagic Movie Theater on Route 1 on March 8.

Why does anyone neeeeeeed such a venomous snake, anyways?

We can't have crazies running around with gaboons, when a copperhead should suffice. And to be quite honest, Maine isn't known for having the toughest laws against importing foreign destructive devices.

Puff the magic adder

I haven't done a post on the assault snake menace for awhile.

Should there be a mandatory ten year sentence for possessing assault style snakes?

I mean, why would anyone neeeeeed a snake that deadly? And how much venom does it hold?

Concealed carry madness!

I'm all about carrying concealed, but come on, who really needs to carry fourteen pythons?

California District High School attack with Python assault weapon

That got your attention, didn't it?

Wrong California, and wrong Python, but it would qualify as an assault weapon considering it was used to assault.

Freaking killer assault snakes!

Attempted puppycide, or self defense?

A UPS man smashed a german shepherd on the head with what looks like a small baseball bat while delivering a package, and it's caught on tape. The owner wants the UPS guy fired.

I can understand the outrage from the homeowners; that's to be expected. Homeowners always insist that their animals are harmless, and that they've never harmed a soul. This is, of course, taken from the perspective of the animals beloved owner - the same guy or gal who feeds the thing - and not from the perspective of a stranger that wanders onto the property to deliver a package that said homeowner ordered.

I like how the news only interviewed the owner of the dog and some random couple with a shitload of cats who are not surprisingly sympathetic to the dog owner. Weird.

It's almost like your opinion is being made for you.

I often read about all of the puppycide incidents that accompany forced entry raids by police, and I tend to be sympathetic to the homeowner in that particular situation, but that is on entirely different terms. Talk to anyone who delivers mail or food, or anyone who does residential utility work and you will hear at least one story of some "sweet innocent pooch who would never hurt anyone" going on the offensive and trying to take a bite out of his or her ass. I've had it happen to me. And I don't know of any delivery service that allows any sort of weapon carry, of even pepper spray for that matter.

The cat owners cannot understand why the UPS guy even approached the house. Uhh, maybe because that's his job? He also thinks it was unreasonable for the guy to be carrying a club when he probably had a cellphone. We all know that a cell phone will stop a 65lb. running dog in his tracks.

Well, just watch the video for yourself and be your own judge. Me? I would have done the exact same thing: do my job and deliver the mail. If some happy go lucky dog wants to be a hero and chase after me then I would probably bust him across the head too.

Update: See! People always swear that a pet is harmless when it obviously isn't. I believe that it's because people humanize their pets in their mind.

She said she's upset and saddened and just wants to be back home with her two children. She said she knows the 18-foot snake never meant to harm her son.

“She didn't clamp onto him. If she wanted to try to kill him, she would've crushed him, but she didn't,” Melendrez said

I'm not blaming the snake - it's only being a snake and doing what snakes do, but this woman thinks that the python was making a conscious determination to play with a 3 year old kid. It wasn't:

In a jailhouse interview Wednesday afternoon, Melendrez said she and her husband, who is also charged with felony child abuse and neglect, were baby-sitting an 18-foot python when it somehow broke free from its cage and went for their son.

"But. . . but. . . but. . .Eve was only going for my son to see if he wanted to go outside and play some T-ball!! She would never hurt anyone!!"

According to Metro police's arrest report, the 3-year-old suffered several bite marks in addition to being essentially strangled when the snake, named Eve, began to coil itself around the small boy.'

I suppose that Eve was just trying to give the boy a gentle hug.

I don't think it's a felony; the couple owns snakes like this and take measures to keep the kids separated from them. This seems to be a freak accident. Good thing the kid survived.

Snakes are freaking dangerous!

I find so many of these snake stories that I often don't even bother to post them. Notice that I even have a label for them.

You need a permit to own a viper?

Not the car - a snake!

On another note, what kind of idiot tries to pull dead skin off the face of a venomous snake and doesn't expect to get bit?

Jackass.

When will the snake violence end?

Another senseless death by pythonidae in a world where serpent owners are encouraged to have bigger and deadlier reptilian death machines.

I'm kind of fond of the 6" Pythons myself.

Update: More serpentes violence, this time in Texas.

Update: And in New Mexico. Ya know, there oughta be a law. . .

Banning terror snakes is common sense

In Fairfax, VA, a motel owner found out that he was renting a room to someone who was storing deadly snakes, which the news anchors call "poisonous" (it's "venomous," you morons). There are plenty of cases showing the dangers of assault snakes. From a man staying at the motel comes this dose of stupid:

I just find it surprising that there's so many . . . you know . . . wild snakes in a room at one time . . kinda . . makes me kinda scared.

We need to pass legislation to stop snake owners from building caches of venomous snakes, and definitely ban the "wild" snakes as they are just super deadly. Arlington county now bans them outright. People have a right to not be scared, and that's way more important that the whims of snakes rights extremists.

Come on folks. It's common sense.

Cops intimidated by python

No, not that one......this one. Apparently the man was arrested because he told the snake to attack the police. That's not a joke:

When the building superintendent opened the apartment door for the officers, Rodriguez allegedly told the snake, "Get them!", according to Viadero.

Rodriguez and his pet were both taken away: Rodriguez to jail on a $10,000 bond, and the albino python to the city's animal control shelter.

This guy may have been an asshole, or maybe he was kidding around with his girlfriend. Maybe he's a real life scumbag, or maybe he's a great guy. Either way, to arrest him for "ordering" a snake to attack is just childish, and the cops need to have their mental capacity checked by a professional.