Thursday, January 21, 2010

Well duh!

Study: Terrorists can be turned away from violence. Well that is absolutely fascinating, but I already knew that.

The Washington Institute for Near East Policy blew countless dollars establishing the same thing that Soldiers, Marines, Special Forces, the Navy, and the Air Force have known for hundreds of years: that a would be terrorist can be persuaded from doing the deed by some outside force.

In this case, the study suggests that terrorists change their minds at the behest of family members, imams, poor food quality, and stinginess. In the case of our brave and noble Armed Forces, they suggest that such things like hand grenades, accurate machine gun fire, artillery fires, pinpoint missile strikes, and high level nightime bombing can also cause terrorists to change career paths; and that the reason that family members are concerned, and the terrorist training camps are ad hoc, and the food sucks, and the senior al-Qaida leadership is reluctant to hand out money like it's 2001 is because mean bands of bad-ass warriors under the US flag parachute in at night and put steel on target.

Watching your friends get blown to smithereens in the dark by an artillery shell called in from over twenty miles away while they're digging a hole in the middle of the road has that sort of effect on people. Now, if only we could leverage that kind of effect on Jihadi Jim here in the states, we could keep them at bay for good.

I'm thinking something like paid admission into FedEx field to watch KSM and the other members of the Derka Derka spirit squad get devoured by lions, wolverines, and sharks with laser beams on their heads. What's not to like? Tell me you would send your loved one off with a pat on the ass to attack some country knowing that they will likely get caught, and when they do there will be tens of thousands of infidels getting drunk and roaring madly when a huge cat tears his limbs off!!

Didn't think so.

But that's not happening right now because we're instead trying to figure out how to make Americans love Islam. Right now, a Gallup survey shows that Americans don't like Muslims very much, and the same article says the Obama administration is doing everything in its power to make Muslims love us. Not mentioned however, is that the US does not have troops prosecuting a war in two Christian, Jewish or Buddhist countries. When was the last time a Buddhist attacked the US? Exactly. It's like reporting a study that Virginians are more concerned about avoiding black bears than polar bears. If Jews start blowing up their underwear while on US planes, then Americans are going to lose "positive opinion of that group's distinguishing characteristic." It's that simple.

I hope none of these not-very-insightful studies are paid for with taxpayer money.
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