Friday, January 15, 2010

The spring loaded cannon menace

Describing the cannon, Ferguson said, "It was a homemade device with a barrel on it. It was spring-loaded (and) appeared to be possibly to be shot off from the ground or even possibly from your shoulder."
As opposed to being fired from what? A frigate? And who the hell has the gall to have something like that with a barrel on it? Barrels are dangerous. Last I heard, spring loaded cannon produce like wicked higher muzzle velocities than the traditional volatile-propelant-violently-exploded-in-confined-chamber type cannon. Maybe we should crack down on springs.

Alright, when the cops get to your house and find your five year old waving around daddy's pistol, then you've got some issues. Pot plants and mushrooms? Aren't those plants that have grown naturally in the environment for millions of years?

The most outrageous part of this whole story is why the guy was in possession of an assault blowgun. I mean, the thing is a .40 caliber weapon. FOURTY CALIBER folks!!! And worse yet, you can buy them at flea markets and Saigon Sams without a license, or even a truth serum enema!!

And why does anyone neeeeeeed a sword? Swords are only designed for one thing: killing puppies! And ninjas. But mostly puppies. Same thing with medieval weapons. Why does anyone neeeeed to own a device created with the sole purpose of killing mass numbers of the peaceful French? Barbaric!

He may not be the shining gem of a citizen that one would hope for in a neighbor - he did violate the Lautenberg amendment after all - but this article seems to contain some journalistic overkill. For all we know, the "drug evidence" the guy was disposing of may just be plastic baggies or some other such "paraphernalia;" and the pistol his kid had may turn out to be an airsoft gun. Who knows?
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