I'm about as smart-assed as they come. I mean, I have to hold my breath and struggle to remain serious about everything, and not crack stupid redundant jokes in every single conversation.
--Wife: "I'm gonna jump in the shower."
--Me: "You shouldn't jump in the shower; it's dangerous."
--Wife: "That wasn't even funny five years ago. Does that ever get old?"
Not really.
So it's bedtime for my kids, and I suggest to my firstborn son (almost 3 years old) that he set up his bag of Cracker Barrel pirate figures in his bedroom and make the black pirates fight the red ones.
--Son: "But I caaaan't. It's dark in there and I'm scared of monsters."
--Me: "Your scared of what? Lobsters?"
--Son: "No. Monsters."
--Me: "Mobsters?!?" You're scared of Mobsters?"
--Son: "No. Monsters. And I'm scared of gween bwobs."
--Me: "I'm totally putting that on the internet!"
A couple of months ago he ran up to me enthusiastically and told me he saw a "wizard," which I knew through my Divine, daddy translation skills meant "lizard," but I just couldn't resist:
--Me: "You saw a Wizard! Cooool! Did he have a long beard?"
--Son: "No daddy. I said wizard!"
--Me: "Was the Wizard's name Gandalf?"
--Son: "No, daddy!! I said Wizard!! Not Wizard!!"
Kids can be endless entertainment! And yes, I can be a dick.
3 comments:
Then I'm one, too, because I do that with Sweet Daughter ALL the time.
"You've been invited to a birthdy potty? What, does it have candles? Don't they go out when you flush?"
At least she thinks it's funny.
My daughter is 2 and a half... she drops her "S" on lots of words. I think it is cute, so I often have her repeat them. Snake is Nake. Snack is Nack. Snuggle is Nuggle.
LOLZ. It seems I share your sense of humor as well. The wife doesn't always appreciate it but Baby Troll does. Problem is, she's 14 now and delivering her own barbs. As ye sow... Yours is coming. Smart-asses - gotta love 'em.
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