Tuesday, October 11, 2011

. . .and that's just a little bit more than the law would allow

Good grief. There's so much fail in this short tragic story that I'm just shaking my head.

As Bittinger approached the front porch of the home, the suspect fired an arrow into his chest. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
The shootee had a "weapon;" the type is not made clear in the article. I'm under the assumption that if the shootee had a weapon and made threats, and/or became a deadly threat, then perhaps deadly force via bow and arrow was appropriate. Just because the shooter didn't use Paw Paw's shotgun hanging over the mantle doesn't mean that deadly force wasn't justified. The Dukes were quite fond of primitive tackle, and as we know they were just some good ol' boys, never meanin' no harm.

This part of the story was interesting:

The coroner says Bittinger died when the arrow punctured his lung and blood filled his heart.
Blood filled his heart?!?! You can die from that? Oh, shit, I have blood in my heart right now! I'mma fixin to call me the rescue squad, right fast! Maaaama! Maaama heeeeelp!! Bloods done filled my heart!!!!

My take on this is that the coroner meant blood filled his lung, or maybe the coroner imbibed a little too much moonshine, or even his sweat stained Realtree hat is on just a little too tight. We'll never know for sure. The hits just keep on coming, though:

A compound bow has a system of pulleys that provide more force with less pull. It’s normally used for hunting.
Or killing babies. You know, because anything that provides more force should be brought into the light for some much needed obfuscation, and then hopefully some legislating. Because this wasn't a killing with a "bow," but a "compound bow," meaning that we should ponder the shit out of what this actually means. It means the deadliness of the instrument is compounded, and commands less effort to wield, so logically we should point this out to the masses considering that a good 99.99% of professional journalists don't have a clue as to what to make of this. Being that the weapon is obviously compounded, it should only be allowed in the hands of law enforcement and professional hunters who have met the compounded training needed to handle all that compounded power that comes from a system of pulleys. Idiot.

Lastly, we have this comment that makes me weep for the people of this country:

Lynne Le

I don’t believe Tony threatened the suspect,
the suspect murder him and blame him, he’s death he can’t defense him self.
Lynne Le needs an intervention to get him/her off whatever substance he/she has been abusing. That person needs help, right quick now! Get Betty Sue and Jimmy John in a room with em' to talk some sayance in to em'!

2 comments:

Broken Andy said...

Funny stuff!

Drew said...

maybe the should ban compound W next, it's to dangerous for citizens to get a handle on a COMPOUND chemical like that!