Monday, April 11, 2011

Metal folding chairs and spandex underwear

That's all that separates the federal government from another exciting form of entertainment: professional wrestling.

Both industries use sensationalism and theatrics to make for an exciting spectacle; both have clearly divided casts of characters that can go from antagonist to good guy in a moment; both have orchestrated maneuvers for the safety of all parties; and most importantly, both have predetermined outcomes. It's all fake but interesting entertainment carefully crafted to keep you dramatically chained to the edge of your seat.

The news this morning is awash with the story of how President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner were in heated "negotiations" this weekend over issues with buzzwords like "debt ceiling," "spending cuts," "deficit cutting," "divided government," "Ministry of Darkness." Well, maybe not that last one. I'll leave it up to y'all to determine which politicritter played Rick Flair and which one played Ricky Steamboat.

Thinking about it, is there really a deficit? Does it exist? Does any of this really matter? If Americans were not struggling against perpetual debt, trying to pay off a federal deficit, they would be in a perpetual struggle to pay off something else. We have become too comfortable running like hamsters in a wheel to achieve something we believe we have to achieve.

While the fruits of the federal government's labor (funny, right?) does affect millions of people, I consider it totally fake and will continue to love my family and serve my fellow man with complete indifference. Water off a ducks' back. If anyone needs me, I will be in my bunk dreaming of one day being able to shoot F-Class, and fish for Marlin on my own boat.
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