Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Equipment Change Proposal

Today I decided to finally anchor my little gun safe to the floor. About six months ago I bought some Red Head Hex Sleeve Anchors to do this task, and I'm now in a huge predicament. So far only one of the pins has not completely failed:



Whomever designed these ridiculous pieces of shit deserves to spend a day in a big ass washing machine filled with Brillo pads and roofing nails. Morons.

So in my experience, these things have a 75% failure rate. What if hand grenades had a 75% failure rate? Marines would be pretty pissed off, no? How about your DVD player? How often does it fail? That's right, not very often. That's because they are generally engineered to do what they're supposed to do.

The knife industry is a perfect example of how good engineers build shit that is so over-engineered, it will probably not fail even if you use it like you're not supposed to over and over again. In the case of these Red Head pins, they are engineered by incompetent people to not even do exactly what the fuck they're designed to do one single time. Now I have one pin that's stripped because it couldn't stand the abusive tapping with a 16 oz. hammer that drives it into the concrete, and two pins that won't tighten because the design sucks and the pins spin in the expansion sleeve.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

No excuses, just fix it!!!

Next up, we have the Clorox wipes. The wipes themselves are amazing, and are quite handy around the house. The problem is that when you get down to the last 25% of the wipes in the jar, they knot up into a big ass clot that comes flying out in a spectacular mess. Getting a face full of bleach really pisses me off.

Just to put things into perspective, engineers can build an internal combustion engine, which is an amazing marvel of human accomplishment, but can't seem to get some wet paper to feed from a plastic tube. Have you ever seen a running engine without a valve cover? It's simply astonishing how everything is so precisely timed that an explosion can be harnessed, making it possible to power a two ton car up a hill or a fighter plane into the air. Now take a close look at this mess:



Not very astonishing, is it?

Hey clorox, how about fixing this mess. . .
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