Monday, July 7, 2008

Fireworks show to be replaced with lazer show

In Vienna, VA. I understand that they have had injuries in the past, but is it really worth getting rid of a fireworks show watched by thousands of people every year? Kinda silly.

Virginia law bans the fun fireworks from us non "authorized" mortals because we can be trusted to drive a car down the highway at 65 mph with nothing but a four inch painted line keeping us from smashing head-on with another car, but we are too incompetent to use bottle rockets that launch a hundred feet away before popping harmlessly.

Way to make us safe! It's a good thing Virginia didn't ban the fireworks that spray 1,800 degree fountains of flame because those are super safe!

"No Johnny, you can't have that lady-finger because it might pop in your hand and cause a blister. Here, let me light you one of these razor sharp sparkling sticks of molten hot metal instead! Now go wave it in your sister's face! Yay!!!"
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