Thy righteousness and thy cellphone, they comfort me

Update: To the below post, in comments Boomhauer notes that DC police are in official uniform when working security, so that indicates that the hoodlum would be the one who flew off the handle. Perhaps he had been sniffing the Gorilla Glue for too long, and thought he could take on the world!

Today's dose of stupid and quote of the day, all rolled into one:

kj85756
Guns are dangerous. The civilian should have called the police and let them take care of it. Guns are not needed when you have a cell phone.

This is a comment in response to this article which lays out very little detail about an upstanding armed citizen in DC who saw a crime being committed and intervened. As you can guess, the citizen was an off duty cop, and as usual, his firearm un-assed from his holster and discharged, all on its own.

Some facts here:

1. The off duty cop works part time at the Home Despot where this all went down.
2. The cop was carrying his "service revolver", as the news person in the video knows firearms very well, and has made that determination with all the accuracy and oversight that we have come to expect from the media.
3. The Service Revolver has full control of itself, and can discharge at will.
4. Bite wounds and a grazing gun shot wound warrant a high speed ambulance ride to the hospital, complete with two police cruisers in tow, for everybody, not just cops. Honest.
5. Guns are baaaa-ah-ah-ah-ah-d.
6. Cellphones stop violence.

Now, the article says our off duty hero witnessed a crime being committed, confronted the dangerous threat, and a fight ensued whereas the violent hoodlum showed how completely reckless he was by grabbing the issued Service Revolver which then in protest decided to discharge without any such human interaction. The video has some cop-like official stating matter of factly that the Home Despot employees, who we presume were unarmed considering that they work in DC, saw the alleged hoodlum committing NoGood and confronted him at the front of the store, wherein the off duty cop comes strolling by and the employees ask him to intervene in a more authoritative capacity. Either way the off duty cop assumed his role as a cop and took action, which means that the above quoted moronic commenter has failed to notice that the "civilian" did in fact summon the police; he just happened to summon himself.

The question that remains unasked is whether the off duty hero cop identified himself as a police officer, or whether he tried to use armed color of law while clad only in an orange apron. If he chose the latter, and displayed a Revolver that we all know the DC police still issue to cops for Service, than the hoodlum may have assumed he was an armed antagonizer. If he chose the former, than did he display the required amount of credentials to show without a doubt that he was a cop, and not just some random un-blessed guy with a gun who works at Home Despot?

The article does say that the off duty cop had just arrived at Home Despot to "work security," which leads to more questions such as: was he wearing the beautiful blue uniform that security guards wear to identify them as being there for the purpose of making something secure? Was he openly wearing the big ol' honkin' Revolver issued by DC for Service, making it easily identifiable as a Service Revolver for the purposes of making the store secure? Who initiated the physical altercation which led to a Revolver having to discharge? Was the hoodlum acting as a patron who was scared of a big scary armed man, or was he acting as a violent scumbag who hates the coppers and won't be taken alive? Why the hell does Home Despot need an armed security guard?

The hoodlum may indeed be a violent scumbag for all I know, but I have to question whether he would risk fighting with multiple people in the front of the store, one of them who probably stated that he was a cop and who is at least potentially armed, all to make off with a booty of gas cans and Gorilla Glue. But then again, this is a Home Despot that though it prudent to hire a cop to be an armed security guard, so there is potential for the area to be saturated with people who would gladly kill for some brushed aluminum door knobs.

Also, if cellphones are all that's needed to stop criminals in their tracks, than why don't cops carry them in their holsters instead of dangerous Service Revolvers? You know, the more news articles I read, the more questions I have. You would think that journalists would be trained to provide facts, and not make a big mess of things.