Strike while the irony is hot

This is too good:

CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — The president of New Hampshire’s Plymouth State University told students Thursday they don’t have to come to class Friday because activists may appear on campus with loaded guns to protest the school’s ban on weapons on campus.

Whaaaaaaat?!? Those rebels! Anyone who would willingly break the law must have ill intent!

Later, the two said the weapons would not be loaded and would have trigger locks and other safety devices on them, the university said.

You mean these hooligans gave advanced notice to the university that the firearms they intend to bring to their claimed peaceful protest will have locks on them and be in plain view? Ms. Steen, you did the right thing. Who knows if these outrageous people will suddenly change their mind, unlock those weapons, load them, and then take out as many innocents as possible, their cause for safety be damned.

Safety first, I always say. And nothing is more useful towards safety than ensuring that non-violent folks who pass out literature regarding unsafe university policies don't have an audience. That's safer than safe. I would go so far as to personally write each student and staffer a day-pass from class on bubble wrap, so their finger tips don't get bruised when I handed it to them. Of course, I would announce this privilege softly so as to not panic the herd.

There is no need for bravery in this new world, as plans are in the works to start a society where fear has been forbiden, and it will be enforced.

Look, the only people who should be authorized to carry a weapon on campus are cops. Since these boys haven't been highly trained to handle the icky things, they have no business with weapons of death -- locked or not. Wait, what?

Jardis resigned from the Epping Police Department last year after he apparently was suspended, the Union Leader reported in 2010.

Oh. Well. . . .maybe he forgot all that training. It's well known that once you leave the force, you revert back to being a drooling moron like the rest of us. Come. . . join our ranks, good sir!

I only wish I lived in a country where I have to make stuff like this up.