Thursday, November 10, 2011

Video game blogging

Aaaaaaaand Battlefield 3 is. . . . .

Terrible.

This game sucks so bad I doubt I will even finish it. I just quit playing not only for the gheyness, but also because it's boring. I'm a first person shooter type of gamer, and I'm known for being able to love the bitter with the sweet, but this game is bad. I don't have many positives here, so I'll tell it like it is.

The storyline sucks. The structure is so rigid that if you stray too far looking for cover you will be DQ'd. Bad guys appear out of thin air; you can watch this happen so much that it becomes something you start counting, like a pet word or someone who knifehands when they talk. Oftentimes your weapon has zero effect, like there's a glitch that keeps the game from acknowledging your hits.

Worst of all, there's these little story/video clips in almost every mission where you are 98% detached from what is going on, but are obligated to hit a random button every five seconds or so to keep from getting your ass kicked by some Iranian or Russian dude. The developers couldn't figure out how to make your character fight like a real Marine, so they make you watch it happen, and if you don't realize what's going on you will get stabbed to death. They should have left that stuff out; or at the very least, if you're going to add a fighting part into the game, give me some real controls so I can fight. Don't make me watch ten seconds of a struggle, and then quickly flash the "B" button and expect me to pick up the signal that I'm supposed to be interacting.

The entire game is senseless like that. The execution of it is as bad as it gets. The graphics are good, and the weapons are pretty cool. The rest sucks. It's my opinion, but I note again that I am the guy who plays the devil's advocate and sees both sides of everything. This game is not worth your time.

ETA: I don't have the time to play multiplayer online, so I stick with the campaign. I can't speak for multiplayer, but I think the campaign is garbage.

ETA2: What this bloke said. And I'm not even done listening because the wife and kids want my time. Wives in general have no clue as to what video gaming is all about. But that's ok; you are loved just the same.

ETA3: Kids are in bed, so I gave it another shot. Now it's not just ghey, but it's preposterously ghey. There's a scene where an enemy jet is engaging your Recon team, and it must be hyper realistic because it doesn't matter what you do, that jet will kill you. It can apparently shoot through anything, so there's no point in hiding. The game is super scripted, which is not what I would have expected from Battlefield. Y'all are slipping!
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