Friday, December 17, 2010

Morons

There was one in every ditch on every curve yesterday in the two and a half hours it took me to drive the 20 miles home. In years past, snow was quite common in Virginia, and my fellow Virginians could be counted on to keep their bumpers to themselves while maintaining an orderly fashion on their way home. Not so anymore, as there are so many dipshits that freak out with the first dusting of snow, careening around corners and smashing into shit that it makes my head spin.

I literally pulled every get-home trick from my native backroad knowhow book, and at every turn had to turn around as there was a moron in the ditch in two-wheel-spinning-four-wheel-drive. There were also a great deal of Civics and Frontiers tore up too.

It amazes me these days the false confidence that some morons get in the snow just because they're driving a massive 4X4 SUV. I have it on good authority that most SUVs of this generation are built from bona fide suck-ass, and can't climb their way out of a frost covered field, so the idea that they would help incompetent drivers make their way down a slippery road while texting on their cellphones is a stretch.

My parents used to purposly take me out in the snow just to teach me how to drive in it, so that one day I wouldn't be one of the afore meantioned dipshits stuck on the side of the highway.

It worked.

I guess there is something to be said about the huge influx of people to my area, as the general population went up a genuine five fold over twenty years. I did not fail to notice yesterday the amount of out of state license plates from the likes of Maryland, Michigan, North Carolina, and such, which brings back horror stories of every time driving on Maryland roads. Sorry Marylanders, but I have to call y'all out as being, by far, the worst drivers in the union. It's not even a contest. Missouri drivers I would say come in second, although they did alright earlier this week in the winter wonderland which was St. Louis. And before you say it, I obviously don't rank Virginians as being very high on the list anymore.

Since I had the kids in the car this morning, I gave an extra three quarters of an hour for the jackassery and mayhem to die down before venturing about on the highways. Worked like a charm. I can't wait for the next snow, as the XTerra is pretty fun to drive in the mess.
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