Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Organ Trail

. . .you don't want to die from Exposure on the Organ Trail, so follow these handy tips to ward off the fleshy sickness:
  • Stay alert and be aware of your surroundings and don’t wear earphones.
  • Walk, run, hike and bike with a partner or group.
  • Let someone know when you are on the trail and when you expect to come home.
  • Don’t use paths or trails when it is dark out.
  • Carry a cell phone.
  • Carry a .357 Magnum handgun loaded with poison-laced teflon-tipped bullets made of lead and adamantium.
Actually, the Loudon county sheriff's department left that last bullet out, but I thought it made sense, so I put it in there.

Weirdos who like to show their satchel to random joggers don't seem to me like they fear spandex clad trail wanderers with cell phones. However, broadcast a story over national news about how a trail lurking pervert got a little too hands on with a running lady and ended up with a sucking forehead wound and I bet you that they might think twice about showing their wares in public.
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