First up, from this gem we have these tips for handing in weapons at an amnesty:
Look out for weapons amnesties, in which you can hand in an offensive weapon without risk of prosecution.
Whatever the reason you have an offensive weapon, police advice is to contact your local station to arrange to hand it in. But bear in mind you could still be charged with possession.
Emphasis mine. Way to encourage the masses to flock to the police! Oh, and don't worry about crime:
Uh-huh, like this? Or this? How about in 1999? How about 2008? We're not even going to get into crimes where a knife was used. More good stuff:
Even if knife- or gun-crime is an issue in your area, you're unlikely to be a victim of it. News stories about innocent people being shot or stabbed are horrific, but rare.
Yeah, if only this guy had just called the police everything would have been fine. And if you can't defend yourself from gangs your actually safer, probably! Just take our word on it!
Don't carry a gun or knife 'just in case'. If the police find them, you'll be in trouble. And anyway, statistically you're more likely to be shot if you're carrying a gun. The same probably goes for knives.
If you believe you're in immediate danger, eg from a gang that uses knives and/or guns, go to the police.
That article also says to avoid "dodgy areas" and then links to this article that advises you on how to "stay safe." Some of the goodness that this piece shares:
Don't tell any caller, including phone callers, that you're alone. Tell them your mum/dad/enormous wrestling-champion big brother is asleep or in the bath.
Super believable. Completely absent is advise on what to do when someone breaks into your house. Here's my favorite general advise:
Don't walk while you talk or text, so you know what's going on around you.
Well it's a good thing they already got that danger covered. If you feel inclined, they have a link called "loads of info for staying safe."
At first all of the purple elephants make you think it's a bad link, but if you click on the link called "free personal safety guides" there is actually lots of great info like this one about home security. The section about what do do if there's an intruder in the house leaves much to be desired, and there is no mention of self defense at all.
Rizor is a wealth of optimism, letting the citizens of England know that you can't carry a knife:
It's no excuse to say, 'I need it to defend myself'. The court is unlikely to accept this. Anyone knows that there are plenty of other ways of defending yourself or keeping out of trouble.
"Anyone knows" about self defense? What other ways? Perhaps pepper spray? Something? Nothing? Actually they don't have a link to "defensive" weapons because they consider all weapons offensive:
It is a crime to be in a public place with something that could be used as a weapon.
This covers a wide range of things - from baseball bats, screwdrivers and broken bottles, to real weapons like knives and guns.
You don't actually have to use the weapon to be guilty. You don't even have to threaten to use it. It is enough for the prosecution to prove that you had it with you and meant to use it if you got the chance.
Using it "if you got the chance" includes self defense. In Britain there is this huge void for what to do if you are actully under attack. There is no advise at all besides "cal the police."
I could go on literally all week within the BBC website, but I thought I would cover a little part of the insanity that is the UK. There are meny people here that want to share the same insanity here in the US. Lets hope that never happens.